Several people have made the comment recently “It was not my intention…
I’m finding that’s yet another way to distract or blame someone else. Example 1. A client says “Well, people say I’m controlling, but that’s not my intention. It just appears that way.” Response: “What IS your intention. Is your intention to be the part of NOT controlling? Of course your being controlling. If you were leveling with yourself you would admit that you are controlling, and for just a while STOP doing that behavior. What does it feel like to let others control their own outcomes? Would your world stop turning if you stopped controlling others?”
Example 2. Boy says, “It wasn’t my intention to cheat on the test! (LOL) Response: “What was your intention when you looked at the friends paper and wrote down their answer? If you were leveling, you’d have looked away.
Example 3. Girl says, “It wasn’t my intention to let the dog out, I should not have to pay a fine!” Response “Well, what WAS your intention when you left the door open?”
Example 4. Man says, “I didn’t intend to hurt my wife when I had an affair.” (Yes, that’s what he actually said!) Response: Yes, but you weren’t trying NOT to hurt her either.
These are simple examples of distracter and blamer characteristics that all participate in. When the saying out there is “LIVING LIFE WITH INTENTION” sometimes you must also be aware of what your “NOT” Intention is!